I met a heavenly friend in 2001.   

I moved to Covington, Georgia with my brand new husband, and met the very quiet, yet kind Jennifer Duffey at the Rockdale Church of Christ.  I had no idea in that moment: what an impact she would make in my life, what she would teach me about friendship, or how one day… my heart would ache from the loss of her.

In our early friendship, we bonded over having survived difficult trials as young women.  We pointed out God’s grace in our past and the people He sent in our lives to help us sift through the broken shards in our broken families.  I remember telling her, “My favorite people have been through significant trials,” because there is a depth of character and a strength of hope when faith is tested and proven.  God blessed me with a “Jonathan and David” (1 Samuel 18) friendship during those years, even as my family moved from Georgia to Indiana.

Jennifer’s life took a bitter turn with a cancer diagnosis.  For years, she rejoiced when the cancer went into remission and asked for prayers when it returned.  I can remember phone calls and visits during her highs and lows, and I recall how I meant to encourage her, yet she encouraged me because of her humility.  Her very life was threatened by cancer, but her thoughts were instead on her husband and beautiful daughters.  They meant more to her than her own life.  

Her journey was not free of obstacles,  yet she tackled each trial with a heavy dose of faith that the Lord would provide enough comfort and peace to lead her to the next day.   She poured her energy into being an example to her daughters, teaching them to love the Lord and keep His commandments and in doing so, left behind a spiritual heritage.  She loved them with her whole heart and served them as much as her physical limitations allowed. 

As I thought about what made Jennifer such a “heavenly” friend, I began to read our (email) letters from over the years.  I found an excerpt that defined what it was, to be Jennifer’s friend. 

I wrote this in 2013, a year before she would pass away:

“You give off such a bright light for Him that everyone can see. I’ve really been able to understand more fully how important our influence/example is because I’ve seen in you how quietly you live by example.You’re not arrogant or looking down at people… You’re just humbly serving God and serving others. Best yet: you are showing your girls the important things in life & what God actually cares about: our hearts and how we use what we have to help each other. I’m just so proud to call you my friend. I can’t wait to see you soon!”

It has now been 9 years since Jennifer passed away.  In a way, it feels like it’s been 100 years. There are moments though, that I can almost imagine her right beside me.  I conjure up memories of visits to Georgia, and sitting next to her on a porch swing in her last years.  Precious memories of us sharing tears, laughter, quiet confession, prayer… and always with a cup of coffee in our hands. 

Our closest friends share our successes, hopes, and dreams.  They carry our personal grief in their hearts, and patiently help us correct our greatest flaws.  They guard our secrets and pray for our strength.  They become our cheerleaders in the areas of our lives that need the most encouragement, and love us enough to tell us when we are wrong.  I hope to be a heavenly friend for others as she was, and still is, for me.  I thank God for creating us to need one another, and thank Him for all of you who walk hand in hand with me as we journey toward Heaven.  

A new command I give you: Love one another.

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

~ John 13:34-35