As a young woman, I was fascinated with the idea of love.  Thanks to Disney movies and romantic comedies from the 90’s, along with historical fiction I read on a daily basis: I had my head in the clouds. Admittedly, as beautiful as those dating days turned out to be, I have come to find something even better than those early feelings of butterflies and young love.  I have come to appreciate even more the design behind the kind of selfless love God hopes we will offer in marriage.

The Lord was so wise to guide us in the importance of a forever marriage. I wonder, if we were left to our own devices, if we would choose to honor the vows we have taken? Or would we allow books and movies to dictate the level of romance we feel we deserve, rather than finding the real treasure in faithfully standing beside our spouse…for life?

Would we know the comfort of counting on a spouse through difficult trials? The luxury of having no need to pretend that everything is ok? Years of communication that creates a new language known only by the two of you? Someone to hug at the end of a difficult day? One who tells you “everything will be ok,” and you believe them, because you are together and that is enough?  Someone to share the greatest joys in life?

I have witnessed someone make a life-long chase after that Hollywood version of a “soulmate” and have noticed that they have had to trade in spouses about every 7 years, because that type of new love has an expiration date. While new love is exciting and wonderful, if we stay together with serving hearts, a metamorphosis takes that young love and creates something much deeper that leaves a legacy even our children benefit from for years to come.

We find that marriage isn’t at all about serving ourselves. God asks us to serve one another, show honor, and be faithful to each other. We help and lift each other up. We teach our children to love the Lord and help others. We show them what real love is. True love is not giving up, believing the best, and forgiving with grace… without an expiration date.

Below is one of my favorite quotes I have hanging above my desk, and I read it every day.

“The Art of Marriage”

A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say I love you at the end of each day.
It is never going to bed angry.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other a safe place to grow.
It is not only marrying the right person.
It is being the right partner.
~ Wilferd A. Peterson

I’d like to take a moment to thank my Friday “coffee talk” friends for contributing in this article and many others not published yet. To have godly friends who are real, yet do their best to live their lives in the Lord is a blessing I will never take for granted.